Does God still love me when I mess up badly?

Yes—and this isn't a soft answer meant to dodge the weight of what you've done. It's the actual claim the Bible makes, even about serious failure.

Paul writes with total confidence that "neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers... nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:38–39). That list is meant to be exhaustive—nothing is left off it, including your own worst moments.

Jesus tells a story about a son who wastes everything, hits rock bottom, and heads home expecting rejection. Instead: "while the son was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion. He ran... and kissed him" (Luke 15:20). The father doesn't wait for a perfect apology first. He runs.

Messing up badly is real, and it can have real consequences worth taking seriously. But it was never the thing keeping God's love switched on—so it can't be the thing that switches it off.