What if I want Christianity to be true but I just can't make myself believe it?

You're describing something the Bible itself gives words to, not a uniquely broken kind of faith. A father in the Gospels, desperate for help for his son, says to Jesus with total honesty: "I do believe; help my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24). Belief and doubt, side by side, in the same sentence.

Wanting to believe isn't nothing—it's a real form of seeking, even when it doesn't feel like confident faith. "The one who draws near to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him" (Hebrews 11:6) describes seeking as something God responds to, not something you must already be finished doing.

You can't force belief into existence by sheer willpower, and pretending otherwise usually backfires into forced performance or quiet despair. What you can do is keep engaging honestly—reading, praying without full confidence, asking real questions, staying in the conversation.

Faith doesn't usually arrive all at once. For some people, it's built slowly, through exactly the kind of honest wanting and searching you're already doing.