Can God forgive something I can barely forgive myself for?

Yes—and one of the New Testament's clearest examples of this is Paul himself, who wrote much of it.

Before following Jesus, Paul actively persecuted Christians, approving of at least one killing. Later, writing as an apostle, he doesn't hide from this: "I am the worst of them," he says of sinners, adding that God showed him mercy specifically "so that in me, the worst of them, Christ Jesus might demonstrate his extraordinary patience" (1 Timothy 1:15–16). He doesn't minimize what he did—he uses it as proof of how far God's forgiveness actually reaches.

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). That promise isn't scaled to how bad the sin is—it's the same promise for everyone.

Struggling to forgive yourself doesn't mean God hasn't. Sometimes the hardest part isn't receiving God's forgiveness—it's believing you're actually allowed to stop punishing yourself once it's been given.